In the moments before the impact, I got lesson number one in my crash course in leadership. I discovered what separates a genuine leader from someone in a position of authority. When faced with a choice, put others first…and, if necessary, be willing to take the hit.

I had broken ribs, a collapsed lung, punctured diaphragm, lacerated kidneys, broken hand, broken leg, head trauma. My pelvis was folded in half, shattered, and the tailbone pulverized. Shortly after waking from a coma, I understood intuitively that to reassure those around me, nothing works better than laughter.  To be the leader people can’t resist, you must be willing, under pressure, to get a laugh and inspire others to do the same.

Solving almost any personal or business challenge requires creativity, and what fosters creativity, is a combination of pressure and curiosity. I have substantial experience with both. The simplest and surest way for leaders to invite more curiosity, collaboration and innovation is to ask What if . . . .

Once I’m out of the hospital, in my nifty new wheelchair, I go to the closest coffee bar and order an iced grande latte with extra room in a venti cup, double cupped—so I can hold it between my knees in my wheelchair.  The woman repeats the request to the barista who promptly puts the cup, full to the brim, on the high counter where I can’t reach it. I feel defeated and humiliated because I can’t even carry a cup of coffee. And then it comes to me. That barista believes her job is efficiency. It’s not. Her job, our job, is to make our customers feel great. Only when we focus on feelings can we create extraordinary experiences in our customers, clients and internal community.