You’ve screwed it up already

Day 4/150 Dailies

Well, I wrote my “Morning Mindset” journal entries today at 5:00 P.M.. The journal is part of a 150-day experiment in which the ONLY requirement is that I consistently answer a series of pre-determined journal prompts for 150 days. That’s it. There is no requirement for the timing or quality of answers. That pressure is off. My hypothesis in this small experiment is that awareness alone will naturally evolve into more mindful, healthful living in a wholistic way. Granted, my hypothesis is also my intention so I would question the science here if I were you. Perhaps by trying it out for yourself. You can find the journal template by joining The Dailies with Elisa at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/810166079520393/.

Last night I enjoyed an especially mindful dinner. Feeling very tired and unmotivated at dinner time, I thought, ”Okay, let’s just go with this. Beer and Triscuits it is!” But then I remembered the secret-stash-Snickers. Ooh! It was tucked away in the…wait…ssshhh… my family might read this and know where I hide the good stuff. In full transparency, I found the Snickers in the pantry a few days earlier. I didn’t know who hid it. Nobody in the house seems to know. I’m guessing I did it, but forgot because, you know, brain injury. It makes life a fun surprise every so often. Anyhow, I dutifully wrote in the journal how I was feeling and that dinner was beer, Triscuits and a Snickers. Dinner of champions! Mind you, my goal really is to eat healthy. But I realized that by laughing about it and being truthful with myself, I didn’t feel a bit guilty. It was fun!

It’s the same about writing my morning entry closer to dinner time. So what. It’s just how today has unfolded. Far too often we don’t let ourselves off the hook when we don’t do something perfectly. Our brains will mull it over with a self-shaming narrative running not-so-quietly in the background.

“You’ve screwed it up already.”
“That’s dumb.”
“Might as well give up now.”

Wow. So rude. Would you want to work for someone who spoke to you that way? Maybe you already do. In that case we should talk. But for now, why do we allow ourselves to be nightmare bosses in our own lives? All that does is reinforce how to hold unrealistic and unyielding goals then shame anyone who doesn’t meet them.

Does it mean you should give up trying to do your best and just accept mediocrity? No, of course not. But your ”best” (or anyone’s) is a moving target. As humans we are not machines; some days the bar for success sits at a different level. What I didn’t tell you about today is that I woke up with a migraine. My capacity today was different than yesterday. The better we get at letting ourselves off the hook, the more equipped we are to do it for others too. And that makes all of life better.

That doesn’t mean you should give up on accountability and excellence, just give grace. Couldn’t we all use an extra dose these days?

#resilience #grace #leadership #thoughts