4 Guides for Hospitality and Grace Online

We live in a social media world dominated by self-curated glimpses of humanity. Let’s call it what it is [mostly] — voyeuristic, exhibitionist entertainment. In other words, the posturing is rarely real.

Are you willing to be in the minority?

Are you willing to use social media for social good?

Are you willing to be real?

I have to tell myself the following all the time:

1. Stop reading things that I know will make me angry. Grumpy me due to opinions in an articially constructed world negatively affects real people in my real world. Just. Stop.

2. Everyone wants applause. Shoot, I made a career of it. Of course people want to show off their perfect children, perfect bodies, perfect houses, perfect lives. Whatever. Anyone can be perfect long enough to snap a photo. It isn’t a contest. Just applaud (genuinely) like a good member of the audience. Reach out to people IRL (That’s “in real life” for you old folks. Because of course I am not old. Right.) That is where the complex reality of other’s lives and our own intersects. We call that “friendship.” 

3. Entertainment requires drama. It is exactly why social media is so successful. News flash, people have wildly different opinions. For example, I think people willing to be unkind and dismissive in service of narrow religious or political views are unevolved cave dwellers. Take a deep breath, Elisa. People are like plants. We all grow toward the sunlight at a different pace. What we need is more fertilizer, which is not to say sh*t. We have enough of that.

Which brings me to my final point….

4. When you feel the urge to rant, argue, or bust out a self-righteous soap box on social media, sit on your hands and count to ten. Or longer. Whatever it takes to move beyond the urge to add negative noise to the ether. Before posting anything. Seriously, ANYTHING people. Try this measuring stick before hitting “post”: Is this intelligent, edifying, and kind? Am I showing up like I would as a guest in someone’s home? I wish I could say that I always measure up. I don’t. I am growing like everyone else.

Hospitality and grace act as fertilizer for tender souls searching for light.

Let’s do that.